


You Take My Breath Away

by Suchsmallhands



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drabble, M/M, MWPP, Music, One Shot, Summer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 01:58:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17572124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suchsmallhands/pseuds/Suchsmallhands
Summary: Remus and Sirius have a late summer night chat on the floor of the bedroom while listening to Queen.He’d just go on and on like that. And on and on. Remus had met a lot of people by seventeen though who just couldn’t talk honestly, about nothing, from the heart. Not to Remus. Everyone has it in them. But it’s rare to find someone you can tell it to. And that’s why Remus likes to listen to him go on.





	You Take My Breath Away

                Sirius took a deep breath and blew it out in a long stream. Remus lay next to him on the blankets that spread across the floor of his bedroom. Hope Lupin was somewhere downstairs reading a book or watching the television or playing a crossword puzzle or crocheting. Or asleep? Lyall Lupin was somewhere in the night fighting magical creatures like his son.

                Remus Lupin was laying on a pile of blankets with Sirius, listening to the record he’d brought over. It was _A Day At The Races_ by Queen, which Sirius had just recently discovered this summer and was going on about it for just as long as he possibly could. Remus had heard every track on both sides of the disc. That was okay though, because if there’s one thing Remus has learned from Sirius it’s that he can become comfortable with constant noise. Auditory noise or otherwise. Peter was easy and allowing, he made Remus laugh with commentary and every once in a while he had an idea that seemed to come from the background and made for some of their most cunning pranks yet. Little things that changed the game plan. James organized life. He was like the sun that the planets orbited around. At least he’d given light to Remus’ life. Sure it was a group effort to drag Remus in. Sure it was mostly credit to fate for starting it all off by placing him in their dormitory room. But James was an arrow head. He pointed the boys at him and pried until young Remus had let the secret slip right to them. It all worked out of course.

                Sirius however – he’s a fire lit on the ground.

                Always writhing and cracking.

                Remus liked being bored with the boys. It was quiet nights like these that he felt the full brunt of their company keeping the loneliness at bay. Loneliness that he played little to no part in banishing, other than allowing them to keep him company with a hunger that smothered his sense of moderation. Something about being a werewolf drew a fine line between him and every one else on Earth, it gave him a brilliant sense of being undeserving. But being young and in love with his friends did the trick.

                Sirius nodded his head to the drums in _Long Away_ , his fingers tapping against the top of his hand where it rested against his diaphragm. His hair flowed like black ink away from his face and onto his pillow. It shown gently in the darkness like an oil slick. Remus flicked his eyes to the window they were looking out.

                Outside was dark. It was after midnight. Sirius went on in a low voice about James and his family. Going on holiday soon. Of course they invited him, of course Sirius declined. _They’re going to visit family in Belgium. They want to take a little tour around some old stogy cathedrals, I can’t believe it. I’m telling you, his mum and dad created his brilliant streak. His mum is an absolute wicked woman, the other day she pranked me! Me! With a fucking jumper, it had my name stitched on the front of it with Jame’s name under in a heart. I was speechless, Moony. I was sat on the floor before the Christmas tree with my mouth wide open like an idiot – Mr. Potter’s got his face hidden behind his hand, Jame’s is losing his ability to breathe like a human being and I’m wondering how I should respond to this, wrapping paper still in my lap. Now – obviously – of course, I would wear it. I mean I did keep it, it’s actually quite sweet, and it’s soft. But it’s just not what you’d expect, you know? And she just keeps a straight face, watching me so expectantly and just as soon as I say thank you properly she cracks up and tells me it was a joke. She gave me another present, the doll. Somehow, Jame’s parents are adults and all. I suppose James will be like them when he’s older, you know, like he’ll be more mature and all that. Jesus – I fucking love this album. It’s just got so many different parts you know. Tie Your Mother Down is such a brilliant song, are you kidding me. White Man has such good lyrics. And who sings like Freddie? Somebody To Love is so powerful, doesn’t it make you want to dance? Mrs. Potter got me a Queen shirt, I near squeezed her to death. Mr. Potter got me a sweet book on enchanting and removing enchantments from muggle objects which is going to be super fun. James got me a Ramones disc, and I think he actually likes it._

He’d just go on and on like that. And on and on. Remus had met a lot of people by seventeen though who just couldn’t talk honestly, about nothing, from the heart. Not to Remus. Everyone has it in them. But it’s rare to find someone you can tell it to. And that’s why Remus likes to listen to him go on.

                He looked out the window at the stars that could be just faintly seen through the glass. He thought about constellations. Remus and Romulus, the twins that the Romans saw in Gemini. Sirius, the star in the sky that was so many times bigger than the sun that it was too difficult to truly conceive the size of it.

                And the same moon. The one ruling his life.

                Once, Peter had said he liked the moon and James had gotten him to tell: _the same one every one who’s ever, you know, lived has seen. Every one who’s ever lived saw that right there. And it probably looked the same._ And James had smiled and said, _yeah._ Quietly and appreciatively, smiling up at it.

                Remus looked at it now and he could barely feel its gravity. It was waxing but it had only been so for a few days. Just a fattening crescent, now.

                _Let us cling together as the years go by, oh my love my love._ Sirius sang quietly out. Remus closed his eyes and his breath smoothed out of him almost silently. He opened them again.

                And it went on in the night like that. The moon was so quiet tonight that its light didn’t even really spill over his skin. No haunting and no brilliant magic to raise the hair on his arms.

                _You Take My Breath Away_ had finally rolled around. Remus’ personal favorite.

                “I’m glad you’re doing better.” Remus murmured quietly, later on when he was a little more tired and Sirius was a little more quiet.

                “Yes.” Sirius murmured. Remus looked at him. He had hardly spoken in a few long minutes. His pale eyes were soft through the window into the night, his head tilted at a comfortable angle.

                “You’ve seemed not on lately. You know.” Remus hummed. He only spoke like this in the quiet of the night, in the hidden spaces of the day. Sirius turned his face to him a bit. Enough to turn his eyes on him. Somehow, without an expression, his resting expression was sharp. His eyes were cutting into his because that was the resting expression of Sirius himself, so it seemed.

                His eyes flicked down, then back to the window. “James said as much, too.”

                “Of course he did.” Remus hummed. He let the silence rest.

                _I could give up all my life for just one kiss. I would surely die if you dismiss me from your love._

Everyone has low times. Sirius could certainly have his own, when it was time. Remus looked at the sky as well. Eyes skirting around the moon as the piano moved like a quiet stream.

                _So please don’t go…_

“What is it then?” Remus asked. Sirius could be brought to expel his secrets given his own time. James would willingly let them go. It took a truly distraught Peter to sputter them out in between shamed breaths and blotchy red cheeks. Remus had to have them pried from his grave hands.

                _Ask for me tomorrow and you shall find me a grave man!_ Remus heard the play lines skitter through his mind between the rolling piano and Freddie’s crooning voice.

                “I don’t know, you know…” He mumbled.

                _Anywhere you go, I’ll be right behind you. Right until the ends of the earth._

“It’s just a bad time, you know. It’ll go away.”

                “So?” Remus pressed.

                “It’s like… I just don’t know what to do, you know. Like, I used to know exactly who I was and where I was going. What I was doing. What I liked and who I didn’t like. And lately it’s just been… I just don’t know what to do. Don’t know what to do, where I’m going… what to be. How to do the things I used to. How to want things the way I did. I just keep thinking in my head I don’t know what to do. I’m stuck.”

                Remus watched him as he watched the sky.

                “It’s like the light’s been put out in me and I can’t move. I just… don’t know what to do.”

                Remus let him be quiet, looking at the subtle shadow cast by the furrow in his eyebrows, just the gentle frustration in his skin. The confusion. Directionless.

                “Things used to be more straight forward for you.” Remus murmured.

                “Yeah.” His mouth quirked down softly. “Almost seemed easier… pissing my parents off.”

                “Yeah.”

                He took a deep breath and sighed it out, feeling the steady pressure of the floorboards below the blankets pressing against his shoulder blades, his spine. He looked out the window. The moon had moved a little since he’d been watching.

                “It’ll be alright, Pads.” He said, matter of factly. Steady and level. “It’ll work out. You know that.”

                Sirius turned his head to rest his cheek against his pillow, his chin tucked against his shoulder. The furrow in his brow smoothed a little over his tired eyes.

                “Yeah,” he whispered.

                _You take my breath away…_

               


End file.
